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Alla Anastasia

Samuel Solomon Sanders

By

About the Writing

This diary follows a series of events based on the siege of Mariopul, and the subsequent events leading to the surrounding of the Azovstal steel plant. On April 20, 2022 Russian forces began an attack on the Ukrainian plant that would culminate in the use of siege warfare. The plant was surrounded with Ukrainian forces within, and so began an eight-day siege that concluded with 50 Russian airstrikes and six-hundred reported dead on the eighth day. In these entries, the attack and later surrounding of the plant instead takes place in a nuclear plant in Zaporzhzhia. Though the account is not true, and there may have never been a little girl named Alla Anastasia, the story retains the hardships and efforts of many in their attempt to escape from Ukraine to Poland.

The Writing

Alla AnastasiaSamuel Solomon Sanders
00:00 / 11:06

Alla Anastasia

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вторник, 23 февраля 2022 г.

Today I saw birds fly onto people’s chests and the people did not get back up.

I woke up early today, so I could make брат (brother) a good meal for his 12th den narodzhennya. That means birthday in Ukraine. I wake up and immediately started (kneading) the dough my mама mixed before night. We were making Varenyky with strawberryes from the cup on our window, because me and mама new he liked it. My job was to (knead) the dough and put in the fill. It felt soft on my skin. The dough was warm and sticke from hours of sun, and it kept wanting to cling to my hand. Every time I pressed on the yellow edges to seel the sweet (jam) in the pastry on the dark oak slab, I felt happy because I new it was wishing me good luck. I couldn't resist it. Mама new that strawberrie Varensky was my favorite food, and it wasn’t fair that брат got to eat it after I was the one that made them. My mouth was watering. So I decidede to only take a little bite. As soon as the Varensky touched my mouth, I felt a rush of (pleasure) from sweetness and gummyness of the uncooked dough. I decidede to take 1 more pastry, because I new no one would notice. At that moment, mама walked down upstairs. Her tanned, smiling face turned to a frown as soon as she saw my mouth fill of raw dough and jam. “You should nowe by now that that is for your брат, and for your брат only. It’s not your den narodzhennya yet, you know.“ A little of strawberrie fell out of my mouth onto the wood. I looked at it. It was a (beautiful) scarlet, the colour of heart. Guiltily, I raised my eyes back up to mама. There was some jam on her arm too. But it was darker. Then she started screeming.



Середа, 24 февраля 2022 г.

Last night, mама told me and брат to get our thingse and go. I only had time to for my small backpack from staying at Anika’s last weak. It had an extra pair of clothes in it, and some (magazines) we we’re reading. After mама was shot, she told me to take my shirt offe and give it to her. She (ripped) it and tied it around her arm. I think she looks funny like that, but when I laughed, she cried. Mама told us we were going on a little (vacation), but I didn’t believe her, because she was crying. I’m kind if ecsited though, because now брат doesn’t know that I ate all of the Varensky. Right now we are driving in are dented Toyota to Zaporizhzhia-1 Railway Station. брат keeps crying, and it is making it hard to right. The windoe is also stuck next to me, and dust keeps flying in my eye. But it’s okay, because we are going on vacation. It is strange though, because funny men keep walking up to cars (ahead) of us and asking them for their cars, and the nice people get oute and give the car to the men. I think it’s because the men showed the people a black present. People are so friendly.


I hear booms in the distance, sometimes. They keep me awake.


П’ятниця, 26 февраля 2022

Today, 2 men gave us the black present. 

We we’re still driving after abouet 32 hours on the road. I was getting realy hungry, because Mама had only stopped 2 times to sleep and all I had eaten was some bread from the cupboard, jam, and a varensky I had hidden. I kept asking mама if we could get somthing at one of the (gas) stations, and she at the end gave in. She said we could stop at a gas station. When we got there, I stayed in the car with брат while mама filled up the gas tank. I saw the meter on the screen say 72 Hryvnia, and I heard mама say a few bad words. After she did the (gas), she went inside the station to get our snacks. It was weird though, because there was man in a leathere jacket that looked at me through the back window. There was another man behind him, smoking a (cigarette). The first man looked angry. I decided I didn’t like him. The second one had (scruff) and looked really sad. I wanted to give him a hug to make him feel better, because he really did look like he was going to cry. брат told me to leave it alone. Then, the man walked over to the car and asked us if we were hungry. The last time I eat was last night, so I said yes. He told us to get out of the car and he would give us a treat. To me, it looked like a really sweet deal, so I asked брат if it was okay. брат told me to shut up and mind my own business, so I turned my hed back away from the window and to my (magazene). The man rapped on the glasse. When I looked back up, there was a black present in his hand. брат told me to grab my things and to get out of the car.


Понеділок, 1 березень, 2022

It’s been a few days that we have traveling now, and i’m getting (tired) of брат’s crying. It is really stupid, I think, because he is older than me. Sometimes I want to hit him.

After our car was stolen, mама yelled at me. She told me that I was a недотепа, and how because of me we now had lost all of our things to those men, who I now nowe were robbers. I told her it was okay, because I still had my backpack from Anika’s, and I might have a few hryvnia left so we could rent a car. She started crying, then. 

I miss papa.



Понеділок, 1 березень, 2022

Walking is not much fun when you’re walking for 6 hours at a time. I overheard mама and брат today, talking about how far we were walking. Orikhiv, she said, is where we are. I don’t know where that is, but I can’t see how people live here. It’s loud, and there are always men shouting.The debris from broken cars and rubble hurts my feet. The booms in the distance make it hard to sleep in the broken houses. Or sleep at all, I guess. There are other people too, heading towards the Zaporizhzhia-1 station, but we don’t talk much. I tried to, once, when I felt tired and hungry and wanted a granola bar. There was this other family with two kids, a boy and a girl, who were walking beside us with their suitcases and backpacks. One of them was carrying a bag with what looked like boxes and boxes of bars. I was so tired. I lagged behind mама and брат to ask the boy for one. He was a nice boy. I walked up to him, and he could see what I had left through. He gave me a box of the bars and wished me luck. I felt a strange stirring in my heart, just then. It made me happy. 

I caught up with mама.


вівторок, 2 березень, 2022

I am happy today. I don’t know why. Maybe it's because the sand under our feets did not get (flung) in our eyes today, while we were walking. Or because mама smiled todaye. Her arm is getting better, I think. She’s tough. I think I wood like to be tough like her one day, too.


We finished walking to Zaporizhzhia-1 Railway Station, but I couldn’t see it because there was so many people. So we kept going.


Четвер, 4 березень, 2022

I had to skip yesterday writing in this journal, because it was not an okay day. 

I think we were traveling through Yurkivka. We wouldn’t have made it so far, but peoples with cars have been really nice to us. They let us ride along with them, as long as we didn’t have any knives or black gifts with us. We didn’t. So, we rode.

A few hours later they left us in a biger city part of the city , where they said we could stay until the train stations cleared. As soon as the people left though, I saw people with black gifts running towards us. Some of them fell, strawbery jam where they did. They were yelling, but I didn’t want to listen. Mama grabed my hand and told me and брат to come with her. We went to a big bilding with the number 1 on the side of it. When I got closer I saw it said Nuclear Plant. 

Right now we are inside, us and other families.


Субота, 11 Лютий, 2022

There was a big boom today, next to the walle I was sitting.  I’m okay, but mama was scared. She said the place we are in is very delicicite. 

I met the boy who gave me the food the other day. He’s nice. His name is Andrey. We talk a lot, when the sounds get to much for us. There are a lot of families in the place we are in. Soldiers, too. I’m glad they are here to protext us. I’m also glad they brout food and water.



Неділя,  9 березень, 2022

The booms are getting louder. Mама tells me that they are people coming to save us, but I know she’s lying. I listen to the other people in the plant. The soldiers keep talking to people on their (radios). They look scared, even when they trye to hide it. 

I drank som water yesterday, and don’t feel all that well. I slept for fourteene hours last night.


The booms are getting louder.


вівторок, 12 березень, 2022

I feel very sick today. I try to vomit, but I’m not hungry, so I retch up whatever hope is left in my stomach. I haven’t eaten in three days, and Andrey says my forehead feels hot. I want to sleep forever.

Mама is looking for a way out of the plant, while брат and Andrey sit with me. It feels good, to know they are their, but all I want to do is sleep.


вівторок, 19 березень, 2022

It has been while since I wrote down what is happening. It’s hard for me to pick up my little notebook now. I feel so sick. Other people to. Some people are leaning against the walls to sleep most of the day. Others are just throwing up.

A piece of my hair fall out today. It looked dead. I am so scared. 

Andrey and mama and брат are ok, though. That’s good.


Субота, 21 березень, 2022

I can’t mov. It hurt to much. I think I


Четвер, 22 березень, 2022

Пробач мені. Пробач мені. Пробач мені.


Середа, 25 березень, 2022

Сьогодні померла моя дочка. Вона кровоточила чорною кров'ю з рота останні два з половиною дні свого життя. У неділю їй мало виповнитися десять років.


(Today my daughter died. She bled black blood from her mouth for the last two and a half days of her life. She was to turn ten on Sunday.)


Бог простить. Бог простить. Бог простить. Але не Путін


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The final words of the final entry, Бог простить, are said in Ukrainian tradition during the passing of a loved one. This was Alla’s mother’s response to Alla’s previous entry, Пробач мені, which would be said to anyone present during her death. The translation would be something like this:

Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me.

God will forgive you. God will forgive you. God will forgive you.


The last words of the last entry, however, are more of a curse than anything.

не Путін. “Not Putin.”

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